New BCA Library funding “definitely not for porn”

The BCA is today denying allegations that a new grant to the library will mostly be spent on preserving their burgeoning collection of old-timey pornography.

The library offers a service where any BCA member can request information about anything that happened in caving ever. However it also appears to have a seedy underbelly to its collections, which were apparently donated by renowned caving-cum-sex clubs the Red Rose and the Croydon.

The collection includes images collected by Eduard Martell, the French speleologist obsessed with the deepest holes imaginable, to more recent (and liberal) English/Welsh interracial DVDs put out by the South Wales Caving Club.

Other videos include “Council of Northern Caving Cocks” featuring Easy Gill (who will let anyone access her simply by filling in an online form) and “Slaughter Stream Slags”, a story too graphic to describe here but involving 3 blokes and a dead dog.

The collection also features 3 volumes of diving themed erotica written by an anonymous voyeur who coins themselves “Old Uncy Sprice”, apparently funded by the CDG. This has a convenent ensuring it is never made available to the public.

The BCA, defending the collection, said – “None of the money is going towards the Caving Erotica section. Most of it is already safely stored by the Cornish, who are desperate for it. Down there, all they have for entertainment is massive artificial shafts, and it shows”