BREAKING: Old cavers moan about 'the youth of today' doing exactly what they did 50 years ago.

A recent drama has unfolded on the Mendip Hills, where access to Daffodill Shed Cave has been lost in an overnight drunken caving incident. Specific details surrounding the incident remain limited as the club from which the cavers departed for their trip, the Barstool Exploration Club, were quick to handle the situation.

Hans Bratch, on UKC, speaking on behalf of the club's committee, said: "Whilst this is an unfortunate incident, it is not the first time that we've had a 4 AM human pyramid so large that someone fell through the neighbours fence. On this occasion they were in, and we therefore weren't able to repair the damage before they came home. They have subsequently cut caver access to the cave on their land. We are working to restore our relationship and ask that people leave us to it."

Unfortunately, being Mendip, the wishes of the committee were unlikely to be followed. Many older cavers, themselves guilty of numerous drunken human pyramids in the past, were quick to criticise.

"It was different when we did it" said one user called 'Dig4Armchair'. "Those involved should be banned from caving for life - they might have well have breached international law".

Others had more sympathy for those in the pyramid. User 'misbecaving' commented: "No one liked Daffodil Shed Cave anyway"

Unfortunately, in recent days accusations have also risen accusing the CSCC of a cover up. With the loss of trust in their local access body, mob rule has taken hold on Mendip and a local kangaroo court sentenced the offenders to death on Tuesday. Dankness Below submitted an appeal for clemency on behalf of the offenders, written on the back of a beer mat, but it was ultimately unsuccessful as Mendip cavers can't read.

Their execution by firing squad took place livestreamed to the public at 1500 UTC, on Friday 23rd October 2026, outside the Hunters.

The alleged incident.