Caving Hut rankings prove that Derbyshire cavers are delusional

Confusion has reigned supreme in recent weeks as a popular thread on UKCaving attempted to rank British caving huts.

Most users were quick to note that there are many great huts across the country that are available for use by cavers, and picking the best hut is not always easy.

Rankings had been based on various factors, such as comfort, facilities, parking availability, proximity to good caves, enjoyable outdoor space and a preference for a lack of resident weirdos. On all these factors, the TSG performs poorly.

Why then is it that Peak District cavers out themselves so obviously by putting this cold, stony hut at the top of every list? In fact, cavers in the Peak District are uniquely placed within the UK to get easy access to other caving regions where the caves are invariably better. So why don't they visit them?

Our resident caving psychologist, Dr Sigmund Void, shared his expert view with us at Dankness Below:

"It's all about the history", said Void. "Peak cavers are still hanging onto their caving politics pedigree as if it keeps them relevant, or makes their caves better. It's a bizarre sense of superiority that in reality has no basis from an outside viewpoint, but to them it's very real. To them, it is the equivalent of painting everything in the Peak District with glitter and so they adore it."

"Some time ago, they started valuing committee meetings higher than actual caving - no surprise given they only have one good cave - and this trend has infiltrated the younger generations too. They're de-facto being born into BCA roles and this is only exacerbating their superiority complex."

Dr Void is looking to establish a clinical diagnosis for the condition and is working on a paper. When asked what name he would give to the condition, he responded "I've not made my mind up yet, but the current favourite is 'Castleton Underground Lunacy Trauma' or 'CULT' for short".