Swildon's Hole found to be only 100m in length after survey errors revealed

Swildon's Hole, the popular cave on the Mendip Hills widely believed to be over 9km in length and 170m deep, has had it length cut to 1/90th of its original after it was revealed that the surveying was completed almost exclusively from the Hunters Lodge Inn's main common room.

For years those used to caving outside of the Mendips had suspected that the cave was not as long as local cavers insisted. After all, even the slowest cavers could do a trip to Sump 1 and back and get change from 15 minutes.

The revelation came after a fresher from the University of Plymouth's student club accidentally ripped their tackle bag, spilling their rope out of the bottom. It is with hindsight fortunate that the foolish individual decided to bring a 100m rope for the 20ft pitch and only a single light, as they somehow missed the pitch and reaching the end of the cave just as their light failed. This forced them to have to retrace their steps by following the rope that had trailed out of their bag, and to their surprise it led all the way to the entrance.

A spokesperson for the Wessex Tea Club, who contributed heavily to the surveying of Swildon's, said:

"I don't remember surveying any of Swildon's".

It is possible they were just drunk the whole time.

An effort is now underway to check the survey data for all caves in the area, as speculation is mounting that the sum total of Mendip cave length may now be fewer than 1000m.